Open letter from teenage dad

My younger self had written this piece One-Year-Dad Blog long back, so I thought of writing back to him now !!

Dear One-year Dad,

It's been a while (12 years to be precise) since you last wrote about your apprehensions on fatherhood responsibilities. A lot has passed on since then, we spent a good 4 years of Arnav's formative years in London and it did leave a very strong mark in him. While he does speak Hindi and Malayalam, his thinking language remains English ! The family of 3 moved back to Mumbai in 2016 and Arnav got a baby sister in 2018 to make it a family of 4.

To address your concerns, happy to let you know that myself and Roshni have been real lucky so far as he has been a fairly low-maintenance boy, going about his studies on his own pretty much and getting good scores too. He enjoys his Physics, Chemistry, Maths sessions though prefers avoiding the Language / Arts / Dance classes !! He has been experimenting with multiple sports be it football, lawn tennis, table tennis, basketball, athletics, badminton and chess, but the last 3 sports has had the maximum interest so far. He has developed a keen liking towards reading books & over the period, gone from Julia Donaldson (Gruffalo) to Rick Riordan (Percy Jackson) to now Suzanne Collins (Hunger Games). He has recently picked Japanese manga/ anime comics bookset !

I hope the above para gives you a sense of pride that the one-year old parents have managed their duties well so far. A confession here - I have been more of a supporting actor in this journey and Roshni has been the star Sivagami to budding 5'5" Bahubali !!  

This month, Arnav has turned into his next phase - Teenage and that brings a whole new level of parenting concerns !! 

Now we are concerned on whether he would start laxing in his studies and whether we can help in any way. These days, his questions or explanations on quantum physics or molecular chemistry seem like us watching Japanese movie without subtitles !! Damn, I feel I should have paid more attention in my school science class.

Our childhood days seem so simple, if you score excellent, get into science (become engineer / doctor), if its below, then go for Commerce (pursue CA, MBA etc) or Arts. Now it's become so cryptic - you can pick whichever topics you want to- just like preparing a salad from multiple choices available !! Each of these permutations combinations would then lead to some unique branch of expertise !! How would a teen understand what he/ she wants and how can a parent (born in simpler times) help them in guiding them to their future? What if I push him to do something which may have become obselete once he finish his studies?

Then comes the worry that very soon he would start planning his higher studies which may not necessarily be in same town as ours - he would go out into the world all alone (maybe even out of India)... Would he be ready for the challenge out there? 

Further there is the tricky topic of upcoming adulthood. Conversations around relationships, flings, breakups, sex would have to happen at some stage.. especially in today's world where unfiltered, fake 'knowledge' is easily accessible in social media !! There are worries abound these days - drug abuse, depression, bad company etc. Would Arnav be able to get thru this phase without major hiccups and successfully get out of his teens into an adult? 

Add to all the above is the (un)popular teenage attitude - as someone said, this is their "no one understands me" age where making him do things what we want him to do could be a big challenge - every instruction would need to be repeated multiple times to explain why it needs to be done ! The attention span today has also reduced 

So that's it - hope to pass thru the phase till 2030 when he enters into his 20th birth year !!! Wait a minute, I just realised that Anika would turn a teen in 2030 !! It's going to be a hell of a ride !! Looking forward to it..

With best wishes and lots of good hope !!

Yours truly,

Teenage Dad