Returning to Mumbai after a short weekend trip to Kerala for a cousin’s wedding, I found myself thinking less about the ceremony itself and more about the congregation it created.
The cousin and his family are based in Bengaluru. His now‑wife and her family are from Delhi. Close relatives flew in from Canada, Singapore, the UK, and the Middle East. Yet the destination for this global gathering of desis was Kerala — for one simple reason: All 250+ of us had our roots in this state.
A state people leave, but never quite leave behind
Our great‑grandparents and grandparents worked relentlessly so our parents could study and aspire to something more. By the 1970s, that “something more” increasingly lay outside Kerala. Opportunities pulled some to the crowded streets of Mumbai, others to oil rigs in the Middle East, and many to the UK and its former colonies.
Some left out of compulsion, others out of ambition. But the heart never really left.
Kerala has a peculiar, almost magnetic pull. Weddings become excuses to return. Festivals turn into annual pilgrimages. Every April, thousands of Malayalees travel from across the world to Thrissur for the Pooram — elephants, fireworks, and collective nostalgia rolled into one. Between November and January, devotees undertake a 41‑day penance to visit Sabarimala. Wedding seasons stretch from October to February, then reappear in April–May. The monsoon brings a 10 day celebration in the form of Onam - the harvest festival.
The calendar itself seems designed to call people back.
Coming back, not to build — but to belong
When first‑generation Malayalee expatriates visit Kerala, there is often a sense of awe.
They marvel at state welfare schemes, the accessibility of healthcare and education, and the much‑discussed human development indicators — outcomes that the early proponents of socialist ideals could only have dreamed of. Slowly, a desire takes root: Maybe we should come back.
My parents and my in‑laws did exactly that. After more than four decades in Mumbai, they returned to Kerala 10 years ago to settle into a different rhythm of life. I know many other couples in their 50s and beyond who have done the same — reclaiming a sense of home after decades away.
For them, Kerala offers predictability, familiarity, and a sense of dignity. It is no longer about chasing opportunity; it is about continuity.
Why the next generation hesitates...
But the same cannot be said for the next generation — myself included.
Born and brought up outside Kerala, a permanent move feels unimaginable. City‑bred professionals from Mumbai, Bengaluru, or Delhi worry about the slower pace. Overseas NRIs dread the loss of momentum and opportunities.
This generation never truly left Kerala. We left an idea of it.
Urban and global ecosystems reward speed, scale, reinvention, and a certain anonymity. Kerala, for all its strengths, often feels like a place optimized for closure rather than opening — a wonderful destination to return to, but a difficult one to grow within during one’s most professional years.
Does this have to be this way or could it change? Probably yes and why should it not? Blessed with a beautiful coastline, fresher air (than most metro cities), literate population and most importantly, our older-folks who have returned back!!
But (& this is a big But) such a change would require an entire ecosystem stacking. Kerala has to be positioned as a hub, not a retreat! Presently, the word Kerala brings images of backwaters, beaches, forests, cultural festivals etc. A serious startup ecosystem & global remote-first companies need to be set up here, inviting the youth to start and grow their professions in the State.
In the end, human beings follow a very predictable pattern.
- Early life - they tend to follow possibilities and opportunities
- Mid life is about compounding and scaling up what they started
- Later life is about finding the meaning or purpose of life, and that's when people tend to return back to their roots.
In my mind, Kerala presently fits beautifully at the meaning end of this curve. It would take a mammoth effort on the part of the government, the entrepreneurs, the corporations to open up pockets for the earlier phases of life.
Till such time, weddings, festivals, and pilgrimages would continue to act as social gravity wells. They pull people back again and again, even if only temporarily.
Cheers
Sunil
p.s. While this post is only written from a Kerala perspective, this is true in many other states and cities beyond the Tier 1-3 cities of the country.
16 comments:
You truly captured the right emotions of many…. We all urge to go back to our roots in tier 2/3 cities to have a slow and meaningful life and show our kids and make them experience what we have seen….. But (yes, long but) we stop that thought for ‘someday’ ….
Very well written, as always
Keep writing and sharing 🙂
Very well written in simple language to connect all ages of readers. Connecting community based lifestyle roots to hybrid modernization sustainable development thoughts... Happy to see how few positive events influence the perception of traditional transition and modernity👍
Very well penned Sunil. The urge to return to ones roots someday is hidden in some corner of the heart for one and all!
Klassic Kerala
Well written. Truly appreciate your thoughts.
Very well written Sunil. This very well relates to my thoughts. Indeed there is an urge to return permanently but not in a position to take that decision due to certain conditions. Till we are ready for that, will remain happy with short visits and the memories.
Very well written Sunil in a simple words. Keep writing
Spot on as always! As someone who actually took the plunge and moved to Kerala for work, I totally understand the pros and cons of being in a Tier 2 city firsthand.
That said, I think things are improving, thanks to local startups and companies with "Kerala-first" objective. However, until there’s a real shake-up , especially on the political ideology (irrespective of party), it’s going to be hard to convince the world that Kerala is as good for vocation as it is for a vacation.
Great read dear
Really captures the essence of the pull the roots have on our life.your parents returning after decades is a testament to the return destination. emotional connections narrow down the distance. indeed heart flies faster than flights.♥️
Very well written,Sunil. You have echoed the feelings that many of us went through but never really put much thought into it.. You have a great talent to express in words, simple thoughts and happenings. Keep it up. Looking forward to more such interesting write ups from you.
Dear Sunil, well written. Many of us have gone through the life cycle narratted. Unfortunately, though we would like to reach ourselves to our roots, the age and other factors do not permit us to do so. Perhaps many old timers like me are nearing the sunset and at this stage cannot venture into any adventure. Congratulations to you Sunil for having written the message in the simple language. Continue writing.
pleasure to read your post. Has a nice flow
I can understand what your express.
Yes, more better job opportunities for the upcoming generations will help the NexGen to stay back in Kerala - Murali
Hello Sunil, As usual, well written. You rightly put the thoughts and desire of a large Malayali population, especially , who have then migrated out of compulsion. But at the same time, the spirit and pace of life (though mechanical for almost everyone) of Mumbai, many have come back here, after staying there for a while as they find it difficult to adjust with the kind of life there. But, rightly mentioned everyone is keen to visit for holidays and events as it offers opportunity to meet large number of relatives and friends. Of course, life in Kerala is also changing very fast.
Its very well written article with touching language one can relate to. The p.s. rightly points out that its true about all states and native places of everyone. Requesting Sunil to write more and more on various subjects to enlighten readers.
It's sucha well written peace covering multiple generationsthought process and our longing for roots keeping in mind the fact how the world progresses.
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